Friday 6 August 2010

Am I happy and where am I going (on my birthday)?

Today is a special day for me. It's my birthday. So, for once, I'm letting myself be a little self-indulgent without beating myself up.

(Yes I do give myself a hard time, but that doesn't mean I stop sharing things which I feel are important - which to some people maybe a sign of self indulgence?)

Anyway.

A couple of questions which I naturally ask on such an occasion are:

- Am I happy with where I am?
- Where am I going?

Happiness. This seems to be on the forefront of everyone's mind these days - you see it in the bestseller sections in book shops, you read about it in forwarded emails, you can't help but notice all the appeals to YOUR HAPPINESS in ads and commercials ranging from types of coffee beans to the latest i-phones to your next holiday destination.

I can't say I'm happy or unhappy really, as happiness is a really hard word to use. No one is happy all the time, or unhappy all the time (except I guess for people who suffer from depression - which is really hard). And whether one is happy or unhappy, sometimes, depends on one's own perception and is relative.

For example, I wake up happy because I know today is my day off, but I get even happier when Rob cooks me my favourite breakfast, but if it rains do I then become unhappy or less happy as we may not have as good a day as we could have? It's a silly example but what is happiness? It seems too transient a concept to be meaningful.

So, I guess maybe I should rephrase - Am I fulfilled, and satisfied with where I am?

Fulfillment is a difficult concept too, but I think it's a better measuring criterion than happiness. Of course, fulfillment is never constant, but at least it goes deeper than just happiness (in my opinion at least).

Working in the charitable world is not always fulfilling, contrary to popular opinion. There are frustrations too of course. But I'm really excited about what's about to happen!

We're now in Hong Kong to start working for Viva, an international Christian children at risk charity. Their vision is to optimise what is an already saturated field - the field of charities and projects working with children.

There are many out there helping the world in all sorts of wonderful ways. But often, especially in the case of the many small grassroot projects started by well meaning local people, they are (through no fault of their own) disconnected, poorly equipped and unsupported. Their workers often have little funds to work with, no fancy laptops which may be available to the top international NGOs, and they don't have many opportunities to be trained and supported in this very difficult field of work.

Viva's vision is to help these projects get connected, equipped and supported so that they can do their work better. Viva helps achieve this by finding where projects are, linking them up so they can share tips and know-how with one another. They also provide training and mentoring to equip projects in what they do.

So it's very exciting to see how we can share Viva's vision and passion with the people of Hong Kong, and invite them to join in this exciting venture.

(And writing helps me to feel fulfilled, in a way)

Which leads me to the second question:

Where am I going?

The answer is: no idea.

Whereas most of my friends are busy getting on with their plans of babies, buying their first (or second or third flat) and planning their careers, Rob and I have no idea where we could be possibly heading towards!

We've committed to working for Viva for an initial two years here in Hong Kong. Rob has lots of exciting things on the side - his corporate speaking, his book coming out in the US next year, his other writing, possible new adventures, whereas I'm focussing more on Viva plus some writing which I really like doing.

Where are we going? We haven't got a clue!

Don't get me wrong, I don't like uncertainties. I hate uncertainties so much that they make me break down and cry sometimes. But I've decided (and will have to decide again) that it's okay, it's okay to take risks; in fact we need to take risks in life - we only get to live once, and more importantly, God calls us to take risks for Him.

Daunted but hopeful and excited - it's a good place to be I think.

4 comments:

Queenie said...

Happy birthday, Christine! May you have a blessed year ahead. It is so often when we are willing to take risks in faith that we can experience His presence.

Anonymous said...

Wishing you a really happy birthday, full of abundance. much love
rupert, valerie & emmanuelle. xXx

baking tai tai (theflourist@gmail.com) said...

wishing you all the very best as you start with viva - I live in singapore and if you ever need volunteers out here or have projects you want to connect or just an extra pair of hands I would be happy to give time.

pacogs said...

hi, Christine, I am Paco, I am a spanish former lawyer. This 2010 august I cycled Thailand. This is more or less how I ended up in your blog, because I was looking for other cycler's adventures and suddenly found some comments which were very common to the situation I am living right now. Cycling, Changing careers, Ex-blackberry addictions, etc.

Five months ago I decided to quit the law firm I was working for and focusing on the secondary (now primary) career I had started some years ago which is peacemaker and mediator - some others say conflictologist. It is true, sometimes I am tempted to miss the life I had before. The business trips, the thrill of big cases, etc. But on the other hand it is true that for years when I watched other people working without a tie, I dreamt of the day in which I could get rid of them too.
When I read that you sometimes cried because you didn't know where your life was heading to, I felt so deeply empathetic whith it. It is true, sometimes you don't know and sometimes you might panic. This is why I like cycling adventures (or even some other more traditional travelling adventures), because you are never really sure of what it's coming next, and this is just what happens in life although we like to close our eyes sometimes. Well, I won't extend myself. Just saying that I like the way you write. Wise, clear and sincere. Regars. Paco