Saturday 29 May 2010

My obsession with Dust, Sweat and What Not

I think one of the things that most amuse (and infuriate) Rob since our married life started 8 months ago was my (irrational) obsession with dust, sweat, insects and the like. Perhaps many women (and men) wouldn’t find my behaviour abnormal, but certainly Rob has struggled to understand it, whilst over the months I’ve actually found it hard to render a good explanation for it. These “principles” have been such a core part of me that are second nature and hence, to me, the most logical way of life.

Living in a less economically developed country now (albeit in a relatively nice environment), one can imagine that some of these things are even more unavoidable.

Principle 1: If you drop food on the floor (even the cleanest concrete floor), don’t eat it. Depending on what it is, and the state of the cleanliness of the floor, you could possibly rinse it properly under (clean) running water before consuming it.

What is wrong with the floor? Dust? Dust doesn’t kill. There’s dust everywhere.

Principle 2: Don’t sit on the bed whilst in the clothes that you have just worn after a whole day of being outside. The bed should be kept as clean and dirt/sweat-free as possible, otherwise it may attract insects at night!

Again, a bit of dust from the day won’t kill you, and it is nice to be able to relax by sitting on the bed.

Principle 3: The sacredness of the towel. Where we are staying at the moment, there are numerous hooks on the bathroom wall. Dirty clothes should not be hung next to a towel, lest the dirty clothes touch the towel which is meant for drying oneself after a nice shower.

....no harm done by a bit of dust from the day!

Principle 4: If the bathroom is wet and you’re barefooted and your feet are not 100% clean, avoid walking on the wet bits. Instead, tiptoe around them to get to where you want to if possible. If you do walk on the wet bits and start making a mess of the floor (because the water on the floor “dissolves” the dirt on your feet), then please splash some water over the mess and keep the floor clean.

....What a palaver!!

Principle 5: Be on the run as soon as you see any moth/flying ant/flying cockroach/lizard approaching. These are abominable things, and if they land on you, you could get bitten or develop a skin disorder.

These things are friendly and won’t hurt. They are probably more scared of you, this giant human compared to them, than you are afraid of them.

And I could go on and on, about why we shouldn’t hug when one or both of us are sweaty, washing our feet before going to bed, covering the toilet seat when flushing...

Oh the joys of married life!


I should add though, that to his credit, Rob has made tremendous concessions, and we have both made considerable progress moving towards each other’s position.

And it's worth noting that Rob does not always look like the photo at the top - that was taken after a particularly sweaty day cycling down a dusty road in Cambodia!

3 comments:

Alastair said...

This is HILARIOUS!!!
You have DEFINITELY married the wrong guy for this sort of stuff!! haha

Anonymous said...

Christine! I totally totally TOTALLY agree with everything you just wrote. Well except the toilet- seat flushing thing. THAT I'm not too sure about. :p

Unknown said...

Gosh, you guys...I think in our marriage it's the other way round, D is way cleaner, tidier, fussier about these things than me!