Rob on Radio 3 (RTHK) on Wed 18 Aug

Rob will be on Morning Brew on Radio 3 (RTHK) at around 11am tomorrow, Wed 18 Aug 2010.

Please tune in if you are in Hong Kong :)

The show's host will be chatting to Rob about his 3 year, 30,000 mile solo bicycle expedition Cycling Home From Siberia on which he went through wild places such as Siberia, Papua New Guinea, Tibet, Afghanistan and Iran.

The second paperback edition of Rob's book Cycling Home From Siberia, which has received glowing reviews from the UK press, is now out and available from all major bookshops.

Pains and Joys II: The Art of Resting

I’m not sure about you, but I certainly experience considerable difficulties learning to take a proper break, rest and relax completely.

Yes, I’ve resisted the temptation to get another Blackberry, or one of its less-sinister offspring (like i-phones and the like) despite the fact that everyone on the planet seems to carry one of those. So one would have thought I should find it easier to “switch off” during the weekends, breaks or holidays. But I don’t.

I blame it on the fast pace of life in a place like Hong Kong. Like New York, Hong Kong is a city that never sleeps. The moment I step out of the building where we’re staying, I see scores of people walking at top speeds up and down the escalator, crossing the road (traffic lights become an annoying personality when I’m in a hurry), dodging in and out of queues, checking their phones, Blackberries or i-phones for messages. It’s not exactly the most relaxing picture.

I blame it on the Checklist Tendency in my working style. Like my dear friend Vicki who I worked with at Tearfund, we have both been profiled as the sort of worker who doesn’t feel good about the day of work unless we’ve checked a whole list of boxes for the tasks we’ve done/things we’ve achieved. With such a tendency (called “Achiever” according to Strengthsfinder), I’m always on the lookout for things to do, in order to “tick the box”. So, even when I’m not working on a Viva matter, say on my way down to post a letter, I think of the other 5 things I could also do on the way – turn on the washing machine, take out the rubbish, get stuff from the store, call my friend about dinner tomorrow, text my other friend to thank her for a great dinner last night, whilst also having a think about how to pitch Viva to the lunch party today.

Some people say it’s the inability to live in the present that prevents us from resting or pausing (and a load of other things). So even when I’m supposedly having a nice weekend doing nothing much, my mind involuntarily goes elsewhere, thinking about the coming Monday, or what should we eat for dinner tonight.

It seems like a disease, this inability to live in the present. It feels natural though, and is alluring and comforting to many, especially those of us who like to plan ahead. It feels like a disease because unless I get rid of it, it actually robs me of real life, of real living. If my mind is always in the future, I’m not really living now, am I?

On Sunday night Rob and I went to a retreat centre at the top of a hill on Cheung Chau, an outskirt island about an hour’s ferry ride from Hong Kong Island. We only spent less than 24 hours there, but even 24 hours away from the buzz and bustle of the city helped. We went there to try and quieten down, to spend some time with God – we feel we really need to be guided by Him particularly for our work with Viva. However, I don’t think one needs to have any religious reason for taking a break and doing something like a retreat. Being in a quiet place, away from normality, and practising silence (something I am very bad at) and just reading and reflecting on things, can be really beneficial for your health – physical, mental and emotional.

Again, I know the benefits of doing retreats, but it is so hard to actually get around to doing them. We have decided to put retreat dates in our diary (and book the room), well in advance, as that will help us to keep space for them, and be more intentional in punctuating our lives with full stops. We have found in the past that unless we did this, that months, or even years could pass without taking a retreat.

*a google search will easily find you good retreat places

Pains and Joys

There are several things I’m trying to “achieve” these days. And for many of these things I have had serious doubts about whether they’re achievable (not whether they are in theory, but in my own book). But their importance keeps hitting home, so I can’t quite ignore them.

The first thing is going running. I know the many benefits of it: health (especially when one contemplates the real possibility that one is aging, albeit slowly), de-stressing, and the feel-good-afterwards aspect of it. But I hate it. I hate the sweating, the pain (!), the stitches, the you-will-never-get-very-far sort of mindset I get into as soon as I start running, the head spinning - basically the price one pays for exercising when one is unfit.

For exercise, I prefer playing tennis – it is actually fun, interactive and sociable. There’s excitement and variation as opposed to repetition and monotony. I think we’ll get into our tennis again soon, after we retrieve our racquets from Rob’s parents’ in London. But at my level of skill, I don’t think playing tennis itself will get me fit or healthy, as most of the time at the end of the first 30 minutes of playing I would normally be panting like crazy, and be reminded again that I need to exercise more.

So Rob and I have started running a bit – my kind husband jogs with me all the way from where we’re house sitting (on Caine Road in Central, Hong Kong) to May Road, a route which involves almost constantly running up steep roads (I usually run the first stretch, and then walk-run the others). At 33 degrees Celsius, perhaps that’s another reason why running feels even more strenuous. Rob keeps telling me that it will get better - that the more I run the easier I will find – say after one month.

One month! That’s a long time. I’m not sure if I can do it, even though each time after I’ve done it I feel good and motivated to go running again, at least before my lazier self starts to throw me a thousand excuses.

The second “thing I am trying to achieve”, I suspect, a common issue for many, is taking a proper break. I’ll write about that tomorrow.

Am I happy and where am I going (on my birthday)?

Today is a special day for me. It's my birthday. So, for once, I'm letting myself be a little self-indulgent without beating myself up.

(Yes I do give myself a hard time, but that doesn't mean I stop sharing things which I feel are important - which to some people maybe a sign of self indulgence?)

Anyway.

A couple of questions which I naturally ask on such an occasion are:

- Am I happy with where I am?
- Where am I going?

Happiness. This seems to be on the forefront of everyone's mind these days - you see it in the bestseller sections in book shops, you read about it in forwarded emails, you can't help but notice all the appeals to YOUR HAPPINESS in ads and commercials ranging from types of coffee beans to the latest i-phones to your next holiday destination.

I can't say I'm happy or unhappy really, as happiness is a really hard word to use. No one is happy all the time, or unhappy all the time (except I guess for people who suffer from depression - which is really hard). And whether one is happy or unhappy, sometimes, depends on one's own perception and is relative.

For example, I wake up happy because I know today is my day off, but I get even happier when Rob cooks me my favourite breakfast, but if it rains do I then become unhappy or less happy as we may not have as good a day as we could have? It's a silly example but what is happiness? It seems too transient a concept to be meaningful.

So, I guess maybe I should rephrase - Am I fulfilled, and satisfied with where I am?

Fulfillment is a difficult concept too, but I think it's a better measuring criterion than happiness. Of course, fulfillment is never constant, but at least it goes deeper than just happiness (in my opinion at least).

Working in the charitable world is not always fulfilling, contrary to popular opinion. There are frustrations too of course. But I'm really excited about what's about to happen!

We're now in Hong Kong to start working for Viva, an international Christian children at risk charity. Their vision is to optimise what is an already saturated field - the field of charities and projects working with children.

There are many out there helping the world in all sorts of wonderful ways. But often, especially in the case of the many small grassroot projects started by well meaning local people, they are (through no fault of their own) disconnected, poorly equipped and unsupported. Their workers often have little funds to work with, no fancy laptops which may be available to the top international NGOs, and they don't have many opportunities to be trained and supported in this very difficult field of work.

Viva's vision is to help these projects get connected, equipped and supported so that they can do their work better. Viva helps achieve this by finding where projects are, linking them up so they can share tips and know-how with one another. They also provide training and mentoring to equip projects in what they do.

So it's very exciting to see how we can share Viva's vision and passion with the people of Hong Kong, and invite them to join in this exciting venture.

(And writing helps me to feel fulfilled, in a way)

Which leads me to the second question:

Where am I going?

The answer is: no idea.

Whereas most of my friends are busy getting on with their plans of babies, buying their first (or second or third flat) and planning their careers, Rob and I have no idea where we could be possibly heading towards!

We've committed to working for Viva for an initial two years here in Hong Kong. Rob has lots of exciting things on the side - his corporate speaking, his book coming out in the US next year, his other writing, possible new adventures, whereas I'm focussing more on Viva plus some writing which I really like doing.

Where are we going? We haven't got a clue!

Don't get me wrong, I don't like uncertainties. I hate uncertainties so much that they make me break down and cry sometimes. But I've decided (and will have to decide again) that it's okay, it's okay to take risks; in fact we need to take risks in life - we only get to live once, and more importantly, God calls us to take risks for Him.

Daunted but hopeful and excited - it's a good place to be I think.

Happy Year of the Rat

February 7th marked the first day of the Year of the Rat in the Chinese Lunar Calendar. As per our custom, all my relatives from my father's side gathered at my grandma's and had a sumptuous and noisy meal. As we are no longer children, my cousins and I restrained from doing what we did when we were little, ie running to the toilet straight after we received our red packets (see further below for an explanation) to see how much money we've got this year...

We still had a good time anyway.

For the curious, here are a few must-haves for Chinese New Year:

Beautiful daffodils - my mum's favourite. In Chinese we call them Shui Xian which translates Water Fairies - what a lovely name! Many families put them in shallow dishes around Chinese New Year. They give out an amazingly pure and refreshing scent.

Everyone's favourite!! These red packets containing a token of money are usually given by married persons to relatives/friends of a generation younger than yours, or younger relatives/friends of the same generation. If you're not married you can escape this duty, and apparently when you first get married you receive a one-year grace period during which you are not obliged to give! These colourfully decorated red packets were given to me and my sisters by my aunt.

Collection of sweets and goodies - sweet lotus seeds at the top, followed by (going clockwise): sweet mellon pieces, sweet coconut pieces, sweet lotus roots, random japanese sweets, sweet melon again, with dried water melon seeds in the middle.

In recent years this particular "dish" has become popular with the general public in Hong Kong, though it used to only be consumed by certain groups of residents in the New Territories. Normally it is made up of: Chinese mushrooms, dried beancurd, prawns, abalones, fried pigs skin(!), dried oysters, dried scallops, sea cucumbers, turnip, all braised in a yummy thick sauce.

It may look small but it can easily fill the stomachs of 15 people!

Glutinous Rice Cake - okay, it may not look like the ones you see in the shops but this is my first attempt of a homemade Chinese pudding, and judging from my parents' reaction so far I think it's quite good!!

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I leave for Cebu, the Philippines on Tuesday for 3 weeks to work with Christ for Asia, a Christian charity that works with street children in Cebu City. It will no doubt be very challenging but I'm excited... so watch this space!

Home in Glittering Hong Kong

The other night whilst walking home from Causeway Bay to Wanchai I passed a long row of shops selling trendy clothes and accessories. They were still open. It was midnight on a Monday. I hardly know of any other city in the world where one can find plenty of normal shops still open at midnight.

Hong Kong.

The name in Chinese translates to "fragrant harbour" in English. I always wondered why the word "fragrant" was picked, as Hong Kong does not seem to me to be particularly sweet-smelling, but according to Wikipedia the original area was one where fragrant wood products and fragrant incense were once traded! So much for growing up here!

It feels slightly strange to be home again. In one sense I feel as if I have never left the place at all, but in another it seems as foreign to me as any new city can be. I walk on the streets dodging hundreds of people who seem to all walk into one another in an organised chaotic fashion, I sit in dim sum restaurants hearing conversations the words of which I understand but the substance of which I don't, I wait for my friends in glamorous shopping malls watching every sort of character appear and disappear every two seconds. It seems all so familiar. Yet at times I feel like an external on-looker observing the buzzing city through Alice's amazing looking glass.

I was on the bus one morning. Looking out of the window in the air-conditioned double-decker I could see business people smartly dressed in the latest Armani suits waiting at the crossing (and checking their blackberries). Two people who are probably colleagues heading to the same meeting were silent and not talking to each other. They just stood there side-by-side, expressionless. Perhaps they just had an all-nighter? Further on the road I could see a newspaper hawker sitting on a stool about 10cm away from the pavement. He had probably been sitting there since 7am that morning and would not leave till at least 9pm.

My hairdresser was telling me that afternoon how his assistant often has lunch at 5pm because they are so busy. He himself was off sick the previous day because of his severe sinus. That day he didn't feel too well either but he was back at work, full-swing. In the evening I went to the fresh meat market with my mum. Whilst trying very carefully not to step in any puddle of fish blood as I had my pretty new shoes on, I saw many, many middle-aged butchers, men and women, wearing big black plastic aprons and gloves, smeared with blood, all furiously gutting the fish or chopping up the meat. They had probably worked like this at the stalls since their late teens.

I wouldn't normally say life is hard in Hong Kong, at least not compared to many parts of the world, but these days it struck me as pretty hard. Perhaps it's just a case of my being blind and oblivious to the lives of some who are not lawyers, bankers or accountants. Not that lawyers, bankers or accountants never work hard. They do (I'm tempted to use the word "we"!).

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Qn: Why do people work so hard?

Ans: They need to make a living.

But do people need to work this hard, so hard that one is physically and mentally exhausted, one's health gets compromised, one hardly has time to see his family etc etc?

I can see why in certain circumstances one must work this hard, as otherwise one simply may not be able to feed his family. But I think in the developed world, these cases are rare. My good friend pointed out to me that the gap between the rich and the poor in Hong Kong (and, I'm sure, many other booming cities) is widening, but I have to admit that I was quite shocked to see children living in government flats having the latest mobile phones, trendy clothes and enjoying a huge plasma TV at home. Maybe that is not common, or these families do not represent the poorest.

Nowadays it is a bit of a joke amongst my friends that I'm unemployed. But I did used to work hard. Some would say very hard. Often I was asked why I had to work so hard, to which I would reply with a combination of: (1) well, everyone (in law at least) worked this hard, (2) it is not always like this, and (3) if you want to move up you will need to work this hard. Never did it really occur to me to answer that working very hard (1) paid my bills (which were ever increasing in number and amount), (2) allowed me to have a comfortable (or some would say luxurious) lifestyle (which was ever getting more and more comfortable, or luxurious), and (3) afforded me the potential / dream of acquiring the many, many things I could have in the future, like a nice house, a nice car, a nice school for my children, even more nice holidays... (not that any of these reasons are wrong, or not good in themselves)

I think I was working hard apparently for one set of reasons but the other set of reasons were the real, subtle driving force behind my working hard. So you see, I was rather self-deceived. Or at least not very self-aware.

Is it at all possible to not work so hard and live a simpler and equally vibrant life, but with more time, energy and space? For family, friends, old and new hobbies, mother nature, health, rest, unread books, charitable causes...? Or is this only a luxury for the few with the freedom to choose? Or, do most of us actually have this freedom but somehow just don't see it?